A PAINFUL INTRUSION

I stood there waiting for the door to open
it never did.
I turned and faced the opposite wall, pained
i am alone.
I walked to the door and flung it open angrily
stared into emptyness.
I called to the hall, asked for you to speak
you never did.
I closed my eyes and forgot myself
you went away.
I held my breath a dozen times for every word you said
i cluched my throat.
I folded my thoughts and packed my mind
imminent departure.
I walked back to my cell, opening the top draw
ironical beauty.
the forged steel, double chrome dipped, polished
i hate knowing that.
In my soft hand, cold steel, brutal contrast
i couldn't forget.
I clamped the blade tightly in outstretched arms
no one saw
no one heard
no one cared.
I plunged the blade inside my chest
it sunk so deep.
I sat there waiting for the rest of my life
it came too fast.